


Mary Sue Gets Triggered

by Erimthar



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Almost RPF, F/F, Large Breasts, Mary Sue, Masturbation, Metafiction, Temporary Girl!Peen, Threesome - F/F/F, Tribadism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 12:51:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8014675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erimthar/pseuds/Erimthar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fanfic writer Kitty Millennia just wanted to write a sexy little femslash with Peggy Carter and Darcy Lewis, but those two ladies got a little bit friskier than she intended...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mary Sue Gets Triggered

**Author's Note:**

> Just a cracky little metafic about sudden unplanned author insertion, the consensuality of sex, trigger warnings, and lots of curves.

Peggy Carter looked around my bedroom with the calm demeanor befitting a secret agent. Her gaze settled on Darcy Lewis, who was standing impassively in the opposite corner, and ran her eyes appreciatively up and down the younger woman’s curvaceous, naked body.

“Crikey,” Peggy said. “I don’t know who you are, but you’ve got a cracking pair of knockers. I must have died and gone to lesbian heaven when my telly programme got cancelled.”

Darcy laughed. “Could you _possibly_ have said that more British? _Cracking pair of knockers? Knocking pair of crackers?_ Anyway, look who’s talking, Lady Chesty of Titsalot.”

Peggy looked down at her own enormous rack, and gasped in delayed shock as she reflexively crossed her arms over her chest.

Darcy rolled her eyes and _tsked_. “Gimme a break, lady. _You’re_ wearing a bikini, after all. You’re not standing there butt-ass naked like _moi_. And I have to say blue is a really good color for you.”

“Thank you,” Peggy said, slowly uncrossing her arms and legs and standing up tall with an effort of will. “But I’m no lady. I’m an agent of the United States government. Peggy Carter, Strategic Scientific Reserve.”

“Pleased to meet you, Agent Carter. I’m Darcy Lewis... uh, buck naked American co-ed.”

“I have to admit I am especially happy to see you, Miss Lewis. _All_ of you.” Darcy blushed at the intentness of Peggy’s gaze, but covered up nothing.

Peggy relaxed a little, and turned to examine herself in my full-length mirror. “Did you say this thing... these things, rather... are called a _bikini_? Like the atom bomb test?”

“Exactly like it, I’d say. You’ve sure got the bombs for it. Without the deadly radiation part, I mean. Hopefully.”

“This is the most revealing bathing costume I’ve ever _seen_ , much less worn,” Peggy mused, turning and twisting in various ways to look at herself. “I look quite like a whore. When I was in L.A., some of those bits of fluff who hung about Howard Stark’s pool wore two-piece suits, but nothing like this. Is it French?”

“Must be,” Darcy said. “All the best things in life are French. Fries. Kisses.”

“I’d be arrested if I went about in public like this.” Peggy looked over at Darcy. “But you’d be arrested first. I think they ought rather to give you a medal and the freedom of the city.”

Darcy beamed. “Thanks. You’re giving me a big head with all these compliments. Also, a hard-on.”

“Your nipples are getting quite erect,” Peggy agreed.

Darcy glanced down. “Yeah. My little girl in the boat is standing pretty tall, too. She’s begging me to jump all over you right now. Which is weird because I’m not a lesbian. Not in canon, at least.”

“Neither am I.” Peggy bit her lower lip, thinking. “I was hoping to have a bit of a fling with Angie Martinelli, but we got cancelled too soon. A pity. I would have enjoyed that. And so would she. But just now, what I want to do is strip off this bit of nothing I’m wearing and roll around with you in a sweaty tangle of arms and legs and jiggling breasts, until I claim the hot center of your womanhood and...” Peggy caught herself with a gasp. “Sweet purple mother of prose... why in the _hell_ am I talking like that?”

Peggy and Darcy both turned slowly to look at me as I sat there on my bed, with my leggings pulled down to my ankles. My open laptop rested on my bare thighs... but just at the moment my hands were busy in my _other_ laptop.

“Hullo,” Peggy said. “It looks like we’ve got ourselves a naughty little femslasher. And she seems to be quite enjoying writing our story so far.”

“Hey, ladies,” I said. “ _Mmmmmm_. I’m Kitty Millennia, and I’ll be your author this evening.”

“Do you _always_ masturbate when you write?” Peggy inquired.

“Sooner or later. Um, Peggy, could you do me a favor and climb out of that bikini, please?”

Peggy smiled and shrugged. “Certainly. It’s your story, after all. I am but words on the page.” She reached behind her back and undid the strings of her top, letting it fall to the ground. Her considerable assets bobbed and bounced free.

“ _Dayum_ ,” exclaimed Darcy. “Look at the size of those. You know, I’m seeing a little bit of a theme here.”

“I wanted to ship the two women with the biggest boobs in the MCU,” I explained. “I have kind of a thing for breasts. I know you’re from totally different time periods and you never even meet in the movies, but... it’s a little bit AU, obviously.”

“ _Hey you_ is right,” Peggy purred. She pulled down her bikini bottom. In my headcanon, Peggy Carter has a _lot_ of dark fluffy pubic hair. My thighs trembled and I nearly came right then and there. Too soon, though. I reluctantly took my fingers out of my crotch.

“You know,” Darcy said, “naked like this, we could just as easily just be Kat Dennings and... what’s your actress’s name?”

“Hayley Atwell,” Peggy said.

“We could just as easily be naked Kat and Hayley as naked Darcy and Peggy. Ahem... _hey everybody, be sure to tune in to 2 Broke Girls, Thursdays at 9:30 on CBS_. Uh, at least that’s where I think it is now. _Or read this story and watch me and Hayley Atwell get naked and suck each other’s boobs. You know you want to!_ Sure you aren’t up for a little RPF, Kitty?”

“That would rock,” I admitted, squirming a little. “But it tends to squick out my readers.”

Darcy shrugged. “Wussies. Okay, then. Darcy and Peggy it is.”

She strutted over to Peggy, put her in a clinch, and kissed her mouth. Peggy groaned with desire and melted into the kiss. In a moment their full figures were pressed tightly and eagerly against each other, breasts squashed together, hands groping bare buttocks, tongues down each other’s throats...

“Wait,” I said.

They slowly broke their kiss and looked at me, annoyed.

“Do you two feel like you have agency?”

They blinked and looked at each other, then back at me.

“What do you mean, darling?” Peggy asked.

“I mean, do you two _want_ to be doing this? Or do you feel like I, as the author, am coercing you? I feel like there may be a little dub-con at work here.”

“Uh... well, Miss Kitty Millennia... if that _is_ your real name,” Darcy said, “we only exist right now because you’re writing us. We want what you want us to want.”

I put my hands over my mouth in horror. “OMG. That’s so elitist. We really need to question that kind of arbitrary authorial privilege. Are you... are you _sure_ you want to be doing this?”

“ _We’re sure!_ ” they both snapped in unison.

“Are you just saying that because I’m _writing_ you saying that?”

Peggy rolled her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. “Miss Millennia. At this moment I am stark naked, profoundly aroused, enthusiastically homosexual, and in the arms of nude woman whom I desire very much indeed to have sexual relations with. Nothing would please me more than to begin moving rapidly in the direction of an orgasm, or preferably a series of same.” Darcy nodded in enthusiastic agreement. “So please... in the name of all that’s indecent... _let us get on with it_.”

“Yes... sure... I agree.” I tried to put away my misgivings and started going through the list of possible trigger warnings in my head.

After a few moments, Peggy sighed heavily. “So what’s it going to be? Tribadism? Mutual masturbation? Cunnilingus?”

I snapped out of my brief reverie. “Oh! Uh... none of the above.”

They glared at me in frustration.

“A round of gin rummy, then?” Peggy growled. “A game of Cluedo?”

“Laundry night, maybe?” Darcy growled. “Naked toilet cleaning?”

“Actually,” I said, “I was thinking fellatio.”

They blinked.

“No fair,” Darcy whined. “You made me super gay for this story. I don’t want to give some hairy dude a blowie.”

“I quite agree,” Peggy said.

“Not _giving_ ,” I clarified. “Getting.”

Peggy put her hands on her hips and looked down at herself meaningfully. “Kitty, you’re my author, and I love you. But I fear I am woefully deficient in the blowjob-receiving department, to the tune of one penis. And so is Darcy, unless my eyesight is really betraying me.”

“Hey, I’m the writer,” I said with a smile. “Haven’t you ever heard of girl!peen?”

Darcy looked down at herself. “ _Eeeek! What the hell, Kitty?_ ”

Peggy gasped in shock as she stared at the younger woman. “ _Bloody hell!_ Look at the size of that cock! You certainly don’t do half measures when it comes to body parts, Miss Millennia.”

“And what about that Pringles can you’ve got dangling between _your_ creamy thighs, Agent Carter?” Darcy said, pointing.

Peggy looked down and squealed.

“I couldn’t decide which of you I wanted to be the top,” I explained apologetically. “I mean, I know I wanted to write a fellatio scene, and Kat... I mean, Darcy... has those really sexy, full lips... but Peggy with that bright red 1940’s lipstick... I just couldn’t decide.”

Peggy was well on her way to a helplessly raging hard-on. Moments later, Darcy caught up to her.

“Far be it from me to tell you how to write,” Peggy said, looking down at the huge pole jutting out in front of her, “but unless Darcy can unhinge her jaw like a snake, there’s no way this monster is going in her mouth, as much as the prospect appeals to me. It’a a foot long and thick as a cricket bat! This erection is making me light-headed from the lack of blood to my brain.”

“Yeah,” Darcy said. “Unless you’re planning to have me fuck a horse, I’m not sure what my next move is. I couldn’t put this thing into a human body without killing them.” She glanced at me, concerned. “You’re _not_ planning to have me fuck a horse, are you?”

“No!” I squealed. “No bestiality! Okay, okay...” I tapped away frantically at the laptop. “Normal cocks.”

They both shrank down to more manageable size, eliciting a sharp gasp from both ladies.

“If I might make a suggestion?” Peggy said politely.

“Sure. Like I said, I want you girls to have more agency.”

“Yes, well... I was thinking this idea of yours might work better as _sequel_ material for another time. You see, I’m still quite thoroughly lesbian...”

“Ditto,” Darcy chimed in.

“...And we were really looking forward to a bit of cunny-licking, to tell the truth.”

“Not that there’s anything wrong with a little futanari now and then,” Darcy added. “In fact, _definitely_ hold this thought for next time.”

“Well,” I said. “Maybe you’re right.” They both hiccupped as their boy parts shifted back into girl parts.

“That’s better,” Darcy said with a smile. “So, Peggy... ready to get busy, finally?”

“Much more than ready.” Peggy grinned at Darcy, then inclined her head toward me. Darcy grinned back as an unspoken signal passed between them. Both women sashayed over to stand on either side of my bed.

“Darling,” Peggy purred, reaching down to caress my cheek. “Please put away that infernal contraption. Take off all of your clothes, and stand up.”

“What?” I said, confused. “Are you writing _me_ now?”

“I took a creative writing class once,” Darcy said. “The professor told us that well-constructed characters will often take over and start dictating the direction of a story.”

“Good writers also do extensive field research,” Peggy added.

I set my laptop aside and stood up, trembling, as two of my favorite cinematic hotties ogled me. I stripped naked under their gaze, feeling self-conscious about my skinny, pale geek body and pitifully small breasts. With trepidation, my heart pounding and my pussy dripping, I watched those two magnificent heroines close in on me.

Darcy slipped her arms around me and pulled me in close. Her body felt so warm and soft against me. I could smell the sweet aroma of her chestnut hair and the musky scent of her perspiration.

She reached up, pulled off my black-rimmed nerd glasses, and brought her lips close to mine.

“Non-con? Dub-con? Or con?” she purred.

“Con,” I breathed. “Oh, God... _con_!”

She kissed me hard, her tongue swirling around the inside of my mouth. After a long minute of that, she pulled back.

“Suck my tits,” she ordered.

I sucked her tits. Darcy Lewis’s tits. Kat Dennings’ tits. They were cool to the touch and oh, so soft and jiggly. Seriously, if Kat Dennings ever asks you to play with her boobs, do it. I suckled one and then the other, feeling her nipples stiffen in my mouth.

Peggy came up behind me and pressed herself against my back. I could feel her huge, heavy jugs against my shoulder blades and the soft tickle of her thick, fluffy bush against my buns.

Sandwiched tight between those two beauties, I was soon lost in a la-la land of girl-flesh and tongues and scented, swirling dark hair.

Then Darcy took her wet, glistening nipple out of my mouth and sank slowly down to her knees in front of me, never breaking eye contact, running her hands down over my sides and hips and legs.

“Con?” she asked.

“Con,” I gasped.

“Here’s a trigger warning for you, Kitty,” she said with a smile. “I’m gonna pull your little trigger until you shoot.”

And then clamped her mouth over my cunt. I sobbed as my whole world turned into a montage of wet, wiggly, hummingbird-fast tongue, sucking lips, and playfully nipping teeth.

“Con?” Peggy whispered in my ear.

“C...con,” I sobbed, not sure what she had in mind but wanting her to do it, whatever it was.

She pushed her knee down under my bottom and forward between my legs, forcing me to widen my stance. In a moment her soft, smooth thigh was pressed firmly up against my dripping-wet lips. I started grinding on her, rubbing my labia against her leg while Darcy continued to lap at my clit. Peggy nuzzled my hair out of the way and planted kisses all up and down the slope of my shoulder and the side of my neck.

“You’re such a Mary Sue,” she whispered in my ear, chuckling, and nipped my earlobe with her teeth.

“I am _not_ a Mary Sue!” I protested. “Take that back! _Oooooohhhhh_....”

Darcy broke off her licking and started rubbing her thumb against my bulging bud in a firm, circular motion. “ _Mary Sue, Mary Sue_ ,” she sang, moving her thumb in time with the song. “ _Oh how my heart yearns for you..._ ”

“No... no... I’m not a Mary S...Sue...” I wailed softly. “ _Ohhhhh... I’m coming!_ ”

An incandescent orgasm exploded through every inch of my brain and body. I howled at the ceiling, a creator-goddess lost in ecstasy. Writhing and spazzing, I gushed and spurted all over Peggy’s thigh.

Check that... all over my sheets. My laptop toppled off sideways onto the mattress as my legs kicked and squirmed with the force of my climax.

It was a few seconds before my tunnel vision cleared and the loud whooshing in my ears subsided. My bedroom was, of course, disappointingly free of any naked, busty comic book movie heroines.

I retrieved my laptop and hit Save.

I sighed, wiped the sweat off my face, and stared at the screen. “One massive orgasm, and three pages of PWP. Now, how am I going to tag this damned story? Oooohhh, _shit_. I got my rocks off but neither of _them_ did. I’m a terrible, selfish writer.”

“ _Oh well, I love you gal..._ ” I could hear Peggy singing invisibly in my left ear.

“ _...yes I love you, Mary Sue_ ,” Darcy sang in my right. They both giggled.

“I love you both too,” I growled. “Now, hush.”

 


End file.
